Captains Log: "The Book of Eli."

What is there to say about a child who lives his life as an open book? There is nothing about him that anyone won't know after being around him for 30 minutes. I've considered even writing a mini-bio for to carry around with him so people can read it for themselves, saving him the time and energy of repeating it over and over and over. You meet him once, prepared to be friends for life.

He doesn't walk.

He runs.

He doesn't jump.

He leaps.

And he doesn't like.

He loves.

Loves a lot.

So suffice it to say, if I had to describe Eli in a single word that word would be "Intense". And that's what I love about him. As my first, he really puts me through the parenting gauntlet because everything he does and feels is the the nth degree. I joke that his intensity is genetic because he was born part-Viking because in addition to his over-the-top personality, physically he may look tall and lean but this kid is DENSE. 

Like, when-he-was-5mos-old-I-had-to-brace-myself-before-picking-him-up-dense. 

SEE WHAT I MEAN?!

He also has intense aspirations.

He's just intense 97% of the time.

He is also quite the existentialist. A recent conversation of ours confirmed that.

E: "Mommy, why is the moon?"

M: "Why is the moon what?"

E: "Just why is it?"

M: "Why is it what, Elijah?"

(then gazing dramatically into the sky)

E: "Just why is the moon the moon. It hangs in the dark. But what does it feel?"

M: "It doesn't. It's the moon."

E: "I think you and I both know it does."

M: "Hows that, then?"

E: "Because...The Universe."

(exits room)

So, yeah. This would be a glimpse into my life with my first born. It's confusing, loud, and fun. There will be plenty more about him, as well as Benjamin, on our Journey. You might want to stay tuned for this guy.

Until next time,

Fair Winds.

-The Captain

Captains Log: "There's Something About Ben."

Ben. How do I describe Ben? Well, he wakes up a little more interesting every day. And by "interesting" I totally mean baffling-ly and delightfully confusing/entertaining. Here's a few facts that you may or may not know about him. 

As some of you may have already known if you are connected with me through Facebook...Ben looks like a lot of people/things and as I stated in his mini-bio...I'm still not entirely convinced that hes 100% human. His hair is some kind of ethereal being not of this world. 

Below is a short compiled list of things I see in Ben:

The past, present, and future.

Nostalgic toys.

Home Decor.

Nature.

Holiday classics.

He's the most ungracefully agile (yes...I just used both of those words to compliment one another because THAT'S BEN) little guy.

 Examples being: 

and

He doesn't know how to neatly consume a s'more.

He was named after one of my favorite songs by Michael Jackson.

He personifies how I feel towards the situations he gets himself in daily.

Sadly, thats all I can give you for now because I literally just heard a crash from his bedroom followed by an "I'M FINE!". So, yeah. I'm going to need to go check on that. But there is so much more about Ben I can share with you. There is something new every single day (maybe even hour) and I cannot wait for you to get to know him better on our Journey.

Until next time, 

Fair Winds.

-The Captain

Captains Log: I Hate Potty Training.

This might be the most obvious parenting statement ever.

I with every single fiber of my being 

HATE POTTY TRAINING.

I honestly think that's where my oldest developed his negotiation tactics. 

We started E when he was a little over 2...or maybe 2 1/2? Was it 2?

I think my brain may have blocked out some of those memories as a defense mechanism. But I digress...

It was sometime in early 2012 when we started the process. B had just come into the world and I decided: "Alright, Elijah. Lets do this thing."

Well, needless to say, he had different plans. Our first go at it you could compare to me asking him to saw off his own leg and feed it to a hungry tiger.

A few days later he figured that if He can't see me...I can't see him.

He adopted this strategy for about 2 weeks.

Neither of us got anywhere.

So after reading a few how-to parenting articles I tried "giving him a book to relax him" method.

Still nowhere.

A few countless hours of Potty Training Tip Articles later 

I gave the ol' no diaper, no choice but the potty angle a try.

Two things got ruined that day:

Any chance of getting our cleaning deposit back and my faith in parenting articles.

He actually sums up how I felt at that time.

Fast forward 2 years and one move across the country later...

GUESS WHAT?!

STILL. IN. DIAPERS.

When I say "literally" I mean it literally took the better part of nearly 2 years to potty train this kid. BUT IT DID EVENTUALLY HAPPEN in the summer of 2013.

NOW it's B's turn. Noted that I should have gotten the hint earlier that he was ready to start when HE was ready:

I guess the thought of my last baby wanting to potty train was solidifying that he was no longer a baby baby was something i wasn't willing to accept at the time AND my traumatic experience from the last time are what caused my delay in moving forward with it. So about 2 months ago we started actually potty training. And suffice it to say, I missed my window of opportunity. NOW, even though he doesn't mind going potty, our lessons are sprinkled in with more...dramatic? interesting? gross? baffling? circumstances. Examples being:

-Yelling at his reflection in toilet handle, distracting him from getting the job done. 

-Insisting on positioning himself on said toilet, often causing one or both feet falling in.

-Eating (unused, thankfully) toilet paper.

or this new one...

So thus starts the second colorful chapter in my Potty Training Journey. I hope that you stay with me on this what is sure to be, interesting time in our lives. Because, I still have no idea what's going to happen...

Until next time,

Fair Winds.

Captains Log: "Well that escalated quickly."

  Myself and my oldest love the show "Property Brothers"  on HGTV. 

We watch it nearly every day.

Buckaroo #1 loves it for the demolition.

I love it for obvious reasons.

This show has a profound impact on E.

It inspires him.

During the climax of the episode when they reveal the newly transformed home to the nervous buyers and they're all like

It moves him emotionally.

He turned to me with so much hope and pride in his big golden brown eyes

and told me about his future.

"Mommy, when I get older I'm gonna work very hard and build me a house like them. And it'll be made out of actual bricks, not Legos. Because a real house made out of Legos would be tacky."

I respond:

"Well that's awesome, babe. You just need to work hard and make good choices and you can do anything!"

(Just to clue myself in on how vital I am in my 4 year olds future I ask:)

"So, when you get your big beautiful house like that, where is Mommy going to stay?"

E:

"Oh you? You can live under the bridge in the garden." 

M:

"A BRIDGE!? REALLY!?"

E:

"Hey, hey, hey. It'll be a nice bridge. I'll have a guy come spray for trolls and snails so you wont have any problems."

M:

"I don't have a problem with the trolls. But why do--"

(interrupting mid sentence)

E:

"Well then it looks like you'll have nothing to complain about. Makes things easier for me."



Guess who's going to start investing more into their retirement now...

(in case anyone is wondering what that conversation felt like)

Testing, testing....

Is this thing on?